One of our jobs as parents is to help our kids see. When they’re craning their necks, we hoist them on our shoulders. When they’re straining to see the stage, we take them to a better spot. When they can’t make out the board in class, we make sure they have glasses. And when they’re […]
Lag Ba’Omer: Speaking With Each Other
It was the perfect pastime for boys in basements on Shabbos afternoon. The fast-paced flurry of backhands, spins, and slams kept us busy for hours, the way it does for young men with bragging rights on the line. All we needed was two paddles and a ball, and we’d disappear downstairs, only to resurface when […]
Reflections on Yom Hazikaron
Outside of Israel, Yom Hazikaron is a forgotten day. Yom Haatzmaut is celebrated in many communities, Yom HaShoah in some, and even Yom Yerushalayim has its place. Yom Hazikaron, tragically, does not. But inside Israel, it is a day that looms larger than the rest, one that sears the meaning of country and peoplehood into […]
Helping Our Children Emotionally Regulate (Part Four)
“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” It was never quite clear as a child why words shouldn’t hurt. It certainly felt like they did. Hurtful speech penetrates the human psyche, which is why the Torah teaches us to be careful with what we say so as not to […]
Pesach: Falling in Love Again
It’s time to fall in love. Not the kind of love that makes you prance in the fields in a white flowing dress – we have Tu B’av for that – but the kind that spurs you to clean crumby jacket pockets and scrub greasy oven tops. The kind that empties your wallet and pushes […]
Helping Our Children Emotionally Regulate (Part Three)
One of the great mysteries of the kitchen, I’ve learned, is that the same dish can turn out differently every time (I refer the reader to the Lessin cookie saga of 2023, which some experts say is yet ongoing). How this culinary quirk happens, I’ll never understand. Einstein’s definition of insanity – doing the same […]
Helping Our Children Emotionally Regulate (Part Two)
Now that we’ve learned the art of containment – expanding our hearts and minds to encompass our children’s emotional worlds – we can lay out strategies to handle the feelings that enter this sacred space. We need to develop a regulation toolbox, a set of tactics we can pull from when our kids feel broken […]
Helping Our Children Emotionally Regulate (Part One)
Emotional coaching did not appear on the list of jobs we thought we were signing up for when deciding to become parents. We were aware of the physically draining stuff – changing diapers, schlepping strollers, getting food on the table (cereal for dinner counts), and providing chauffeur services to a hundred activities in the span […]
Seeking Family Harmony
Early in my family therapy training, I realized that growing up in a family did not mean I understood one. As an intern, I quickly found myself knee-deep in family dynamics jargon – circular causality, differentiation, triangles – concepts designed to help me make sense of what I was looking at when watching families operate […]
Unfillable Holes – Finding Meaning After Premature Loss
There are holes in life, spaces where the fabric never reconnects. The cloth doesn’t regenerate in those spots – it gapes like an open wound that no bandage could ever cover. The chasm left where a loved one once stood can be so wide that at times it’s all we can see, until a jolt […]