In our last article, we discussed the importance of choosing the kids we have so that they don’t grow up feeling like impediments to our happiness. We explained that having children is only one part of becoming a parent – deciding that we want these children is another matter entirely, one that requires an active choice on our part […]
Choosing the Children We Have (Part One)
I used to hate cliches. Now I love them. Sometimes there’s just no better way to neatly say what you’re trying to express than to catch a ride on the back of a well-worn aphorism. It’s as if an entire corpus of wisdom on a particular topic has been distilled into its essential components, bottled […]
Holding onto Hope (Channukah)
They say hope floats, which is important to know, because when we’re struggling to stay above water, sometimes hope is all there is to hold onto. Hope’s buoyancy makes it like love and faith – precious commodities in life that prevent us from sinking into the abyss when hardship threatens to pull us under. Hope […]
The Importance of Difficult Emotions
The flood of feelings starts with dread, that horrible experience of barely breathing while you wait with your heart in your throat because you know something terrible is coming. You just don’t know yet who it’s coming for. Maybe the names you’re about to hear on the radio won’t be someone from your community, so […]
We Are All Soldiers
I am in awe of our soldiers. Nowhere in the world is there a fighting force comprised of more remarkably determined, principled, courageous young men and women than in the Israeli Defense Force. Despite the anti-semitic rhetoric now being spewed all around the world, all fair-minded and honest observers (there still are some) routinely extoll […]
Strategies to help our kids cope with the war in Israel
Whether we live in Israel, America, or anywhere in the world, our children know that Am Yisrael is going through an incredibly difficult period. They see us crying. They feel our pain, sadness, and worry. They hear us on the phone with family members, discussing the horror and tragedy. They know that we and our […]
Teshuva: Experiencing Ourselves Differently
How did we end up back here? It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. Exactly one year ago, we burrowed deep inside ourselves to face our deficiencies. We wondered how we’d strayed from the path we had committed to a year prior, made sincere pledges to change, and swore to ourselves that we would […]
Turning the tide of entitlement
As the dismissal teacher directed traffic at pick-up, she noticed a fourth grader exit the gate and walk towards his father’s car, positioned just a few spots back in the carpool line. It was forbidden for students to pass the fence before being summoned, so she called him back and told him he would have […]
Helping our kids think through decisions
One of the most important skills we can give our kids is the ability to think through their decisions. Children are naturally rash, not known for considering consequences before taking action. We see this in our own homes – we routinely watch our kids react in ways that leave us wondering how much forethought, if […]
Why teaching our kids is only half the answer
At last year’s Agudath Israel of America convention, Rabbi Joey Haber addressed the audience on raising children in the age of technology. Rabbi Haber pointed out that roughly every twenty years, parenting changes its focus. In the 70s and 80s, discipline was the backbone of good child-rearing. It was important for parents who had been […]